Fire Falls on Sacrifice: Faith and Focus in a Blended Family

Sometimes, God Changes Our Circumstances for a Purpose

Due to a whole series of circumstances, we’ve started to explore new churches.  Most recently, Honyay and I were discussing whether we should wait until after Christmas or start checking things out now.  Last week, I felt a strong sense of urgency that we needed to start now.  He agreed, and we went to a new church for the first time in about 10 years.  

The message was focused on the importance of growing in spiritual maturity by feeding ourselves daily in God’s Word and Spirit.  Throughout the service, I kept feeling this sense of conviction, that we were exactly where God needed us to be that day. 

I was thanking God for putting us in this place, so Captain Starburst could hear the message about the impact of starving spiritually.   As a college freshman, he had been struggling with spirit-led decision making in the midst of his newfound independence.  Some of these decisions were creating the very real threat of serious natural consequences.  

The pastor spoke of the importance of taking three steps as we enter God’s presence:  Remove, Be Honest, and Let Him Lead. 

I took some notes about “Remove” that stuck with me.

REMOVE….Moses removed his sandals when he had his encounter with God in the burning bush.  What is God calling me to remove?  Fire always falls on sacrifice.”

Fasting Isn’t About the Food – It’s about Focus and Obedience

What was God calling me to REMOVE?  As we were praying at the end of the service and called to consider that question, there was an immediate burden on my heart.  The Holy Spirit was pressing on me to REMOVE the nightly glass of wine that I enjoy so very much after getting Princess Milkface to bed.  Not to remove all alcohol, but to fast from that one specific thing for however long it is needed.

Really, God?  

After Princess Milkface’s bedtime on Sunday night, that conviction came back to me.  Truthfully, I was feeling ambivalent about REMOVING wine.  While I don’t overindulge, I have enthusiastically subscribed to the mom subculture of running hard on coffee and wine since having Princess Milkface.  I enjoy that glass of wine.  I earn that glass of wine when I survive Bedtime Olympics every night.  

I decided to compromise.  There was 1 glass left in the open bottle I had, so I decided to finish it and start Monday.  After all, I’m pretty sure it’s biblical that all crappy new initiatives have to start on Mondays, so it only made sense.

After I got Princess Milkface settled on Monday night, I had to face my conviction about this call to REMOVE head-on.  I sort of prayed, I thought about it, and I decided this didn’t apply to me and opened a new bottle of wine.  

Oh come on…don’t judge me too quickly.  We’ve all had those moments where the Holy Spirit put a burden on our hearts, and our reaction was less than obedient.

• Homeless person begging for money?  Somebody should really address this country’s poverty issue
• Foster a child?  There’s no way I could handle that burden with such a messed up, broken system. 
• Treat our bodies like the temple God created by eating well and exercising?  Umm….Okay, really…I know it’s not just me!

But, I digress.   Funny thing about that glass of wine though…I didn’t enjoy it nearly as much as I typically would.  Actually, I didn’t even finish it because I was so tired.  I decided to put it in the fridge for the next day.  

I woke up the following morning about 30 minutes before my alarm went off, and the Holy Spirit was still on my butt about that wine!  I didn’t understand the big deal, but I decided to be obedient, if for no other reason than to not continue losing sleep over this issue.  Before I even showered, I went downstairs to take care of business. 

I poured the glass of wine down the drain.  Then, I poured the remainder of the open bottle down the drain as well.  As I was saying “goodbye for now” to my wine, I said out loud,

  Fire falls on sacrifice.  Lord, show me your fire.  Show me what is so urgent that you want this sacrifice from me right now.” 

I got the girls moving and got ready to take them to school, but it just so happened to be a different routine that day.  Lady M had a doctor’s appointment, so we dropped Princess Milkface off first, giving us some extra one on one time that morning.  

We talked about all sorts of things, and then the topic shifted to Captain Starburst and some of the challenges he was having as a college freshman.  We were pulling into the parking lot of Lady M’s school when I said, “I just keep praying for Captain Starburst to have some sort of undeniable encounter with God that will help him reevaluate his focus and his priorities.”

All of a sudden, Lady M was silent.  I pulled up in front of the school to drop her off, and she quietly said, “Mom, I know this probably isn’t great timing, but there’s something I need to tell you.”  

From there, she shared some recent bad decisions she made in a misguided effort to handle the stress and grief that accompanies the happiness of being adopted.  I was hurt and angry at the things she had done, but in that moment, I was thankful that she trusted us enough to be honest.  Lady M told me that as we were talking, something just came over her, and while she knew the truth would hurt us, she just couldn’t keep it in anymore.

I spent some time stewing on challenges of raising teenagers for a good portion of the day, but all of a sudden it came full circle.  

  Fire falls on sacrifice.”

Lady M could have continued down an unhealthy path that led to lasting consequences, but she opened up and asked for help.

When We Are Obedient and Focused, the Holy Spirit Can Lead Us

She could have kept her secrets, but she trusted me.

I believe the Holy Spirit nudged Lady M to open up to me yesterday, and I believe it happened because I chose obedience.  God wanted me to show my obedience to him through something that seemed so arbitrary.  By listening to a call to fast from something that I really didn’t want to give up, it helped me prepare to focus on Him and let Him lead through that conversation. 

Had it been a Sharapu-led conversation, it would have gone very differently. 

I could have missed the moment entirely by telling Lady M she was already late for school and she needed to go.  

I could have blown up in my hurt and frustration, effectively ending any chance of open communciation.  

I could have accepted the first thing she said and missed the discernment needed to recognize that I need to listen patiently and continue to ask, “What else?” until she was finished.

Tough conversations and tough days lie ahead as we begin discussing plans for support, consequences, and steps to rebuild trust in our family.  With God’s help, we will work through it.  

In the Bible, there are many examples of people fasting in an attitude of obedience as they prepare for the path God has planned for them.

Esther fasted for the safety of her people before she approached the king to ask for their protection.

David was fasting when his child was severerly ill.

King Darius fasted when he was fearing for Daniel’s safety in the lion’s den.

Is there something that God is calling you to REMOVE, to ensure your focus is on Him? Has there been a time in the past when you were called to sacrifice in preparation for a journey God had planned for you?